Never played BFME, so I will just say the major things in LOTRO
1. First and foremost, LOTRO has questing. That is doing tasks with a well written backstory and reason to do them. My personal favorite. Currently exploring Nud-Melek in Moria with a dwarf.
2. Classic Instances and raids are over the place. You go into a dangerous instance in an area with some freinds and vanquish great evils.
3. PvMP is where you go out into a map and fight against other players (one faction is from angmar and the other is made from regular players) for control of keeps and outposts, but the fun is from fighting.
4. Epic Battles are where you defend an area against a greater force. This is what they used to tell the Battle of Helms Deep, and what they are using in the future.
Anyways, it is a great game and I would reccomend that you try it.
Withywindle characters-Caesaran (warden), Dernudan (Lore master)
Brandywine characters- Dernudan (champion), Denthur (guardian), Delphinianic(captain)