We have detected that cookies are not enabled on your browser. Please enable cookies to ensure the proper experience.
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Niagara Falls. NY
    Posts
    460

    Talking New US Law: "The Affordable Boat Act"

    The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

    This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

    In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

    If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

    Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

    A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

    Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

    Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

    If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

    Yeah ... it's that stupid...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Ponyville
    Posts
    382
    Please tell me this is a joke on Obama care...if not...UK here I come! (JK)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    523
    I had no idea having access to affordable health care would be such a luxury. Thank you for putting it in perspective for me.
    [COLOR=#ffd700]I'm a Banana[/COLOR]

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Middle-earth
    Posts
    1,700
    Because owning a boat and staying alive are the same thing. Genius.

    Also, debating politics is strictly forbidden on the forums, you may want to prepare for an infraction and/or ban.
    [I]In the sea without lees standeth the Bird of Hermes.
    [/I][I]When all his feathers be from him gone, He standeth still here as a stone.
    Here is now both white and red, And all so the stone to quicken the dead[/I][I].
    The Bird of Hermes is my name, Eating my wings to make me tame.[/I]

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    143 Puppy Lane, Happy Evergreen Village, Draconia Incorporated
    Posts
    90
    I agree, everyone needs a good punch, and nautical transportation. We all know that the Mustelids approve of honoring the watery-overlords from time to time, as long as they don't steal their rightful glory.
    Get up, go outside, run to your nearest field,and frolic;
    frolic till you find the meaning of life, then sit down and sing cheery songs till dawn.
    I have been sent by the Mustelids, who are inter-dimensional beings leading us.
    I am one of few Mustelidian High Priests. Join our order.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Posts
    18,193
    I'm having a really horrible day at work. I needed this. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    3,328
    To me, US politics may seem like a joke but in many ways this takes the prize.

    You seriously compare basic health care with owning a boat? 'Lobber' is that 'lobbyist'? This made me angry beyond words. Go paste this on your facebook page or tweet it. Have fun. Wrong forum.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

This form's session has expired. You need to reload the page.

Reload