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  1. #1

    Red face Marriage Proposal System

    Picture this. You're in a fellowship with someone you really like. You Right click on thier name, and click on "Propose". On thier screen, a box would pop up, saying "(name) is attempting to propose to you. Do you Accept?" and underneath are 2 buttons that say "Yes" and "No". If No is selected, a box would then pop up on your screen, saying "(name) has Declined your Proposal." (awkward, silent moment.... shot down! lol) Buuuuut if they clicked on YES instead, both people would henceforth be known as "Husband and Wife", or "Husband and Husband" or "Wife and Wife" (gotta have equality to be fair) and both people would get a special Jewelry accessory worn on the finger "Wedding Band". What these would do is, when the couple is within a certain Radius of eachother, they would get a decent bonus added to all thier stats, and also to top it off, they would have a title. "Husband of (Name)" or "Wife of (Name)" or to simplify the idea, scrap the ring idea, and just have the 2 have the stat bonus when they are in a fellowship together. It can be done. I have seen a system similar to this on other MMOs, and it was pretty neat. We can have Parents and Children, so why not Husbands and Wives? I think it's a great idea, and it does not mess with the Lore, Since Aragorn is Promised to Arwen, it would make perfect sense. Write back, and let me know what you think of my suggestion!

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  2. #2
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    Unless you also have a free divorce system, no.

    But in reality, a system like that rarely fits in a game, let alone an online game with real people.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by zalladi View Post
    Unless you also have a free divorce system, no.
    Agreed.


    Quote Originally Posted by zalladi View Post
    But in reality, a system like that rarely fits in a game, let alone an online game with real people.
    I know of at least one MMO (PW) where players can marry each other. And it works quite well.
    In that game it does offer several minor gaming benefits to the couple.
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  4. #4
    There would Definitly be a way to divorce, they wouldn't force us to stay with somone we don't wanna stay with. all you would have to do is pay a small silver fee, like with adoptions.

  5. #5
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    Not like this, no. No invite boxes. Too many people would misclick, like they already do when getting random guild invites.


    We already have notaries in the game who manage kinships, last names and so on. People should have to go there to marry and divorce.
    Last edited by Neumi; Jul 21 2013 at 04:08 AM.

  6. #6
    There's actually evidence in the game's data that Turbine considered this feature during early development of the game. In fact, as far as we know, it might already be implemented in the code, and Turbine might only need to flip a switch and create a user interface for it.

    Thinking about the characters we've met recently in Rohan, husbands and wives have played a very important role. It seems appropriate to me that players could do so more visibly, too.

  7. #7
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    I'm pretty positive that this was due to be introduced but Turbine saw it as possibly a controversial feature so they scrapped it and said that in-game marriage would never be allowed.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kajil View Post
    I'm pretty positive that this was due to be introduced but Turbine saw it as possibly a controversial feature so they scrapped it and said that in-game marriage would never be allowed.
    Yep. They tried it during an early beta phase and it did not end very well. Loud screaming and fighting from every side over what should and shouldn't be allowed. Basically, Turbine said they had enough and took it out. Vowed they would never even consider adding it again.

    There have been many "suggestions" for marriage to be added in the past. Many were closed due to them turning into arguments, religious/political discussions, insults being hurled at each other, etc.
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penter-Kar View Post

    There have been many "suggestions" for marriage to be added in the past. Many were closed due to them turning into arguments, religious/political discussions, insults being hurled at each other, etc.
    At least the suggestions were getting into the spirit of marriage.

  10. #10
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    Wrong game! & i want a prenubs letter if it get implemented. Not giving him away my hardly earned raid gear on the divorce -.- .

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  11. #11
    It's definitely a possibility. FFXI and Rift both have a marriage system that works great and I loved both systems for it. But these days and in a F2P game I just don't know. People would spam it on purpose unless you do go to an npc in Bree or something to do it then I don't think it would be much of an issue. I like in FFXI where when you get married you can get a group together to go with you to the ceremony, it's really cute and meaningful

  12. #12
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    I think the reason it's controversial here in a way it's not controversial in those other games is the issue of adhering to a very specific and well-defined lore. Specifically how the lore addresses pairings that players would inevitably want, and feel they should have a right to have, such as cross-species or same-sex, but which would strain the lore considerably. When you invent your own world, or you aren't as concerned with matching lore, or your world is anything-goes, you can easily allow a marriage between a male dwarf and a male elf, which somehow produces a female hobbit as a child. Doesn't work quite as well here, though.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by HunterGreen View Post
    I think the reason it's controversial here in a way it's not controversial in those other games is the issue of adhering to a very specific and well-defined lore. Specifically how the lore addresses pairings that players would inevitably want, and feel they should have a right to have, such as cross-species or same-sex, but which would strain the lore considerably. When you invent your own world, or you aren't as concerned with matching lore, or your world is anything-goes, you can easily allow a marriage between a male dwarf and a male elf, which somehow produces a female hobbit as a child. Doesn't work quite as well here, though.
    Well stated. Pretty much my thoughts on the matter. It would be lore-breaking to take it as far as some suggestions. It may even be lore-breaking to offer an official divorce system; I don't remember any divorces in the lore. I am not widely familiar with the lore but I think the most scandalous instance regarding romance would be in The Children of Hurin in which Turin and Nienor fall in love and conceive a child (not realizing that they were siblings), though of course that ends in a Romeo & Juliet fashion. And of course the Hobbit family trees end up quite convoluted. I don't remember reading about any affairs or divorces, and especially not any same gender romances. There were only a few inter-racial romances, only (I believe) between elves and humans. Middle-Earth has never been an anything-goes world. The lore is deep and rich, as HunterGreen states a world with very specific and well-defined lore -- introducing this stuff would not be lore-appropriate. Tolkien himself was a pretty conservative man from what I've heard, particularly regarding industrialization, but about other stuff as well. Regardless of our personal thoughts of same gender romances, divorces, etc, we have to remember that this is not OUR world. This remains and should always be TOLKIEN's world, even if he is no longer around to enjoy it. WWTD - What Would Tolkien Do?
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  14. #14
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    It will never happen. Historically these threads turn vicious on this subject.

    For me personally, I would hate it. It's kind of awkward having to turn down a marriage proposal in a game that I'm playing to relax in the first place. All I need is a /tell from from some crazy lady asking me why did I refuse her proposal. And what if it's a guy that proposes to me in the first place? That brings up the issue of same sex relationships and that's one part where people get nasty.


    No, I don't want marriage in this game at all. Way too many cans of worms. I play to get away from real world issues.
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  15. #15
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    Turbine no longer wants to touch that one with a 40-foot pole.
    And it's understandable why.
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  16. #16
    Oh well, at least the game still supports single-parent interracial adoptions, to the complete exclusion of two-parent adoptions. That's reasonably progressive.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fredelas View Post
    Oh well, at least the game still supports single-parent interracial adoptions,

    I can see a tough as nails dwarf that was adopted by a Hobbit family going by the name, "Daisy Creampuff"
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  18. #18
    Some people seem to say that this system exists in other big games. So why would the controversy make Turbine explode and not the other ones?
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taravith View Post
    Some people seem to say that this system exists in other big games. So why would the controversy make Turbine explode and not the other ones?
    "MY DWARF WANTS TO MARRY THAT ELF!!"
    "TOLKIEN SAID NO!!"

    "YES I KNOW I'M A MALE DWARF BUT I LOVE THIS MAN SO I MARRIED HIM!!"
    "OMFG TURBINE TOLKIEN WAS A CATHOLIC SO SAME SEX MARRIAGES SHOULD BE FORBIDDEN!!"

    etc.
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taravith View Post
    Some people seem to say that this system exists in other big games. So why would the controversy make Turbine explode and not the other ones?
    One reason I can think of is that Turbine's license may be more heavily controlled than some others, and the pairing choices more restricted. As an example, Dwarves aren't even allowed to declare a gender in this game, and females of that race are more rare than in other races (and don't venture out in the world anyway), so what do we do about marriages among Dwarves? I don't think the license-overlords would care for Hobbit-Man or Elf-Dwarf unions, and while undoubtedly there are thousands of teenage girls out there dying to RP a union between their Elf princess and a Ranger, that wouldn't fit well within the lore either, since Elf-Man unions were supposedly extremely rare, and for good reason.

    But we do have the ability to RP marriage in any way we wish, so are a proposal system or family tree on the character page or other game-supported tools really necessary anyway? Take your beloved to one of the countless romantic views in the game with your friends and family and declare your hearts! Nothing at all wrong with that.
    Last edited by Whart; Jul 21 2013 at 05:46 PM.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hyrules_Legend View Post
    Picture this. You're in a fellowship with someone you really like. You Right click on thier name, and click on "Propose". On thier screen, a box would pop up, saying "(name) is attempting to propose to you. Do you Accept?" and underneath are 2 buttons that say "Yes" and "No". If No is selected, a box would then pop up on your screen, saying "(name) has Declined your Proposal." (awkward, silent moment.... shot down! lol) Buuuuut if they clicked on YES instead, both people would henceforth be known as "Husband and Wife", or "Husband and Husband" or "Wife and Wife" (gotta have equality to be fair) and both people would get a special Jewelry accessory worn on the finger "Wedding Band". What these would do is, when the couple is within a certain Radius of eachother, they would get a decent bonus added to all thier stats, and also to top it off, they would have a title. "Husband of (Name)" or "Wife of (Name)" or to simplify the idea, scrap the ring idea, and just have the 2 have the stat bonus when they are in a fellowship together. It can be done. I have seen a system similar to this on other MMOs, and it was pretty neat. We can have Parents and Children, so why not Husbands and Wives? I think it's a great idea, and it does not mess with the Lore, Since Aragorn is Promised to Arwen, it would make perfect sense. Write back, and let me know what you think of my suggestion!
    Okay... Others have explained that (a) Turbine tried a marriage system in alpha test and the results were unfavorable, and (b) as a result of that, Turbine will NOT institute a marriage system in LotRO.

    On the hypothesis that such a decision could--conceivably--change the first problem with your suggestion is that it doesn't include a provision for an "Allow marriage requests" box that can be unchecked for those that NEVER want to see a "proposal". (Nor, interestingly enough, have you address the potential for polygamous marriages.)

    I will give you that are at least open minded on the subject. A big part of the problem is...there are plenty of people who are not, and that would be an issue for flame wars. Same-sex marriage would be a definite Lore break, not because there is--of necessity--anything wrong with it, but that the idea was alien to the times and culture when Tolkien wrote LotR. It simply wouldn't have occurred to him that someone could seriously suggest such a thing. (Look up the treatment of Alan Turing and Oscar Wilde for examples that would have leapt to Tolkien's mind.)

    Third, you have left inter-species issues out altogether. In Tolkien's world there were a mere handful of Human-Elf pairings mentioned and a single Elf-Maia pairing. There are NO examples of any other species crosses.

    So...how do you propose to have an in-game marriage system that is (a) consistent with what is contained in LotR, and (b) won't upset a whole lot of people?

  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Whart View Post
    As an example, Dwarves aren't even allowed to declare a gender in this game, and females of that race are more rare than in other races (and don't venture out in the world anyway), so what do we do about marriages among Dwarves?
    While the "lore" excuses are as hilarious as ever (look at... well the whole game) I guess the dwarves thing would be quite awkward indeed.

    The idea of marriage in a video game makes me cringe a little bit but I do see the appeal in a sort of "partnership" function given the number of people who play this game with their spouses (me included). But I can't find of any other alternative that would be at least vaguely lore-friendly.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taravith View Post
    . . . but I do see the appeal in a sort of "partnership" function given the number of people who play this game with their spouses (me included). But I can't find of any other alternative that would be at least vaguely lore-friendly.
    This, I believe, has been the answer all along. Allowing players the option of creating a bond. That's it, just a meaningful bond, which could be between good friends who wish to go on a long adventure together, between two brothers who want to look after each other, or between two people in love, anyone at all. It doesn't matter and it is not specified in any way. It is up to the players to decide what their bond means to them.

    Sworn protectors and other strong connections were very much a part of Middle Earth history. Much of the story focused on the building of a relationship between two individuals, and how it shaped their future. Gimli and Legolas, Frodo and Sam, there are many examples from the books - Gimli and Legolas being especially remarkable because of their races. It would add richness to the world if we were given a way to mark our enduring partnerships, in whatever form they may take. Removing the idea of 'romance' from it would likely eliminate the complaints, and if people decided their bond did mean that to them, they could choose to use it in that way.

    It would be important to allow players to cut a bond at any time they wish, (but perhaps not able to make a new one until a good time had passed, to prevent people from using it on every random fellowship). It could grant them perhaps a bonus when in proximity, but of course only for as long as they choose to keep their bond.

    This seems like a very simple solution to add a layer to the game that many people would greatly enjoy.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faengalith View Post
    This, I believe, has been the answer all along. Allowing players the option of creating a bond. That's it, just a meaningful bond, which could be between good friends who wish to go on a long adventure together, between two brothers who want to look after each other, or between two people in love, anyone at all. It doesn't matter and it is not specified in any way. It is up to the players to decide what their bond means to them.

    Sworn protectors and other strong connections were very much a part of Middle Earth history. Much of the story focused on the building of a relationship between two individuals, and how it shaped their future. Gimli and Legolas, Frodo and Sam, there are many examples from the books - Gimli and Legolas being especially remarkable because of their races. It would add richness to the world if we were given a way to mark our enduring partnerships, in whatever form they may take. Removing the idea of 'romance' from it would likely eliminate the complaints, and if people decided their bond did mean that to them, they could choose to use it in that way.

    It would be important to allow players to cut a bond at any time they wish, (but perhaps not able to make a new one until a good time had passed, to prevent people from using it on every random fellowship). It could grant them perhaps a bonus when in proximity, but of course only for as long as they choose to keep their bond.

    This seems like a very simple solution to add a layer to the game that many people would greatly enjoy.
    Lovely idea.

  25. #25
    Let's put aside the bonuses for a moment and think of the root issue. Let's face it, even without the bonus stats this is a dearly needed feature.

    There is already a place to declare a child. Why shouldn't we be able to declare a partner or spouse?

    Now, for those who want to cry "It's not lore" Just how many times in Tolkien's works have you seen a Dwarf with an Elf child, a Hobbit with a child that isn't a Hobbit, Or any other combination of the races?

    Just like with the child system, it is completely optional. If you don't like it, you do not have to use it. If the title "Husband of" or "Wife of" or even "Spouse of" bother you, then there is this nifty little option in your preferences to turn off titles. Anyone is already capable of roleplaying however they wish in chat, even to the point of some things that would be better in IM, (but that is another matter alltogether)

    There are many things in LOTRO that are not lore appropriate, take for example the many items Turbine has out there to get people to purchase from the store. Or the fact that there are Hobbits outside of the Shire at all. Or even the few Dwarves that go round in dresses. Why should the spouse/partner system be any different?
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