Have your friend switch over to the Monster Play character screen, then switch back to the Free Peoples character screen. This should have the avatars load up. I've noticed that, after update 9, if your avatar does not load up on the character screen, and you hit play, the client will disconnect from the server after some time before actually loading. Otherwise, have him wait for the avatar to finish loading.
edit: Alright, just read about the stopping at the update part. Just have him wait while it continues to update, or restart the client. This has very little to do with the Dwarrowdelf server, and more to do with the update servers. Plus, there's a vast amount of content to download.
Last edited by GoogleKeithBoadwee; Jan 31 2013 at 03:01 AM.