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  1. #1

    We are... Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes

    Ok not really but that's the name of the kin. You probably (or hopefully) read my last thread...Are you laid back...etc. That's me or us. But this *trumpets blare* is the OFFICIAL Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes recruitment thread! *angelic singing* Does anyone else keep hearing those sounds???

    Nothing has changed still looking for the same thing. Laid back, chill 18+ people looking to enjoy the game at their own pace. The group we have so far is an older group, NOT OLD *trips over walker* oops..ignore that... but that doesn't mean we are ONLY looking for other old farts...er...older people. Our mentality does not always coincide with the numbers. So why am I telling you this? I don't know, I'm old and can't think straight. Oh I'm just kidding. As long as you're over 18 and enjoy the game on a casual level, you have a home here. Oh hush, not the old age home

    So let's recap from the other older, broken down, no longer of any use thread...

    *No one is capped and we are not rushing to do so. We are enjoying the journey.

    *The kin is small at the moment but we will grow, we are taking our time. Having the right people is what makes or breaks a kin (in my eyes, but I need glasses so...)

    *Looking forward to raiding etc when our time comes. until then its about helping each other get there. Can't you feel the love??? We already run skirmishes together and old instances (which will will continue to do even once we reach cap) Lower level players will always be welcomed!

    *We know this is a game and real life comes first. If your kid needs you or your husband/wife/significant other/pet/police/IRS/INS whatever, needs you, we will wait. But keep that bucket handy, bio breaks are inexcusable!!!

    *Website is under construction but running, vent will come when we get more kinnies.

    *You will not be scolded for cursing or off color jokes, I don't censor adults, we get enough of that but come on, BE an adult. Your dirty joke better contain some intelligence!!!!

    I guess that about covers it. So if you're a new player, returning, seasoned and just want a breath of fresh air, maybe you should be Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...

    I gotta go, I need my pills and it's past my bedtime....

    *UPDATE 2/24/2013*

    This post...much like the cake is a LIE!!! We have a few capped toons, finally...better late than never? And are looking to start learning all about end game content (other than just rebuilding Hybolt which still blows my mind) and would love for others to join us as we run together. Feel the love people, feel the love
    Last edited by Agron5; Feb 24 2013 at 12:17 PM.
    Nothing to see here...

  2. #2
    Hey Elendilmir!

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes is an up and coming kin to watch out for! How can I afford to make such claims? Simple...
    lets look at the facts. I reviewed other kin recruitment threads and I shall show you how well we compare.

    *We are rank 10*
    Er...nope. But we will be rank 6 in 3 days which means no kinhouse yet, but HEY! Something to look forward to, RIGHT?! NEXT!

    *We are a friendly kin*
    Ok, we are in fact friendly. Until we get to know you, then will most likely point and make fun of you. OR, you can point and laugh at us since we aren't capped yet....Ok, wait...maybe this doesnt work. NEXT!

    *We are family friendly*
    YES! We ARE in fact family friendly (only in the way that a dysfunctional family IS still a family, tyvm) SHUT UP! ok, NEXT!

    *We are helpful*
    We are in fact helpful. If you like it when a high lvl toon comes to help, aggros a ton of mobs and then does desperate flight/hips/feign death. Wait...nevermind. NEXT!

    *These are our rules*
    I have to look up that word in the dictionary. (she has to look up almost everything) SHUT UP! I'll answer it later...NEXT!

    *Please see our recruiting policy*
    Well, we dont have one per se (look, she used a thesaurus) SHUT UP!, but anyone who has lived through my "interview process" can attest that I DO make sure potential recruits will fit in. NEXT!

    *We will enjoy skirmishes, instances and look forward to end game content*
    Yes we do. We enjoy going in and screaming at each other cause no one has enough wound pots, food etc. I'm kidding (no she's not) SHUT UP! We do runs whenever we are online together. (she didnt say successfully runs) SHUT UP! NEXT!

    ok, I think Ill quit while I'm ahead. But (she said butt) SHUT UP! if your looking for a kin that is plays for fun but DOES still game hard, well, maybe you should be Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes

    (she still said butt) OMG SHUT UP!

    If you're interested, first..get back on your meds and get help, then contact me here or in game as Lexxey, Iriis, or Chynakat, or look for Belethar.

    Have a wonderful weekend people!
    Last edited by Agron5; Dec 12 2012 at 12:38 PM. Reason: Found another of my 1,000,000 typos
    Nothing to see here...

  3. #3
    Frodo wanders through the Shire with Samwise. “Oh Sam, my dearest friend...” he begins. Suddenly, without warning a group of ninjas appears around the duo. “What are these evil creatures?” Sam asks. “They come in the name of Saruman!” Frodo yells. “Screw Saruman” one of the ninjas answers. “We are the punters of hobbits, the tossers of dwarves, the noogie givers of humans, and the ones who hang clotheslines between the ears of elves” Frodo and Sam look at each other confused. We ARE Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes! the ninjas announce. “what are you talking about?” Frodo asks

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes…marching to the beat of a different drummer
    Nothing to see here...

  4. #4
    Frodo and Sam continue on their way. Who is more confused? Frodo and Sam or the ninjas who can't believe they are not known.

    "As I was saying my dear friend Sam..." Suddenly a group of pirates jump out "AARGH!" they cry. "Friends of Saruman for sure this time Mr. Frodo!" "Screw Saruman!" one pirate says. "We are the drinkers of ale and the smokers of pipeweed! We are the jumpers of waterfalls and slappers of auroch butt! ARGH!" Frodo and Sam once again look perplexed. "We ARE Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes!" the pirates cry out. "Ok, seriously, what is goin on here? Frodo once again inquires.

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...currently recruiting all classes and levels and looking for a new drummer

    Take a peek at our "under contruction" website

    Nothing to see here...

  5. #5
    Frodo and Sam once again begin walking, more wary of their surroundings now. Something new has invaded the Shire, perhaps all of Middle Earth.

    Unexpectedly, a bright light shines, almost blinding them. "Behold!" cries a commanding, loud voice. "Gandalf?" asks Frodo. "Um...ya..Gandalf, we'll go with that." The light subsides. A man stands in a purple robe. "Purple?" asks Sam. "Why yes, yes...I am Gandalf the Purple." Frodo and Sam look annoyed. "We are the poor music players in the AH, the trolls of ooc". "Let me guess" Frodo begins. "We ARE Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes!" the man in purple yells as Frodo mouths the words. And just as fast as he appeared, the man is gone. "Mr. Frodo?" Sam begins..."what the world is going on?"

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...we forgot our meds
    Nothing to see here...

  6. #6
    Frodo and Sam come upon Legolas and Gimli. “Something evil has entered Middle Earth!” Sam exclaims to them. “What is it?” asks Legolas. Suddenly they hear a rustling in the woods…Gimli tightens his grip on his axe, Legolas pulls back his bow string, pointing an arrow with precision, “Who is there, show yourself he who comes in the name of Saruman!” says Legolas. Frodo rolls his eyes, “they are not in the name of Saruman…trust me” the Sheriff of Nottingham pops out of the woods, Prince John by his side. “We are the snippers of bow strings, the dullers of axes!” The Sheriff looks at Prince John… “Is that the plural of axe?” he asks. “I dunno” says Prince John, shrugging his shoulders. Gimli and Legolas look at each other, dumbfounded. “Where were we?” asks the Sheriff. “You are Tolkien…” begins Sam. “YES! We ARE Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes!” “Are these guys mental?” Gimli whispers.

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes… waiting for the wizard to give us a brain

    Nothing to see here...

  7. #7
    The foursome continue on their way, wary of their surroundings. A man in black appears before them. Gimli raises his axe "stay back!" he yells. They hear nothing but breathing, its sinister sounding....

    "Frodo" he begins... "I AM your father!" "NO! Thats not true! Thats impossible!" cries out Sam. "And it will be Sam that will save the day in the end even though you get all the cedit" "NO! Thats not true! Thats impossible!" shouts Frodo. Sam eyes Frodo, a tad suspicious. "What?!" Frodo asks. "You son of a...."

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...the force is with us
    Nothing to see here...

  8. #8
    After much discussion Frodo finally announces: "I will take it! I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though... I do not know the way" Gandalf offers some comfort..."I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." The fellowship begins to form. Aragorn tells him "If, by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my sword." Legolas adds "And you have my bow." With Gimli, of course calling out "And my axe" Suddenly a voice is heard "and my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator!" Everyone slowly turns their heads to see who was talking. "Isn't that lovely?" Aragorn and Gandalf look confused as the others roll their eyes. "there will be a kaboom! A Midle Earth shattering kaboom!" Aragorn whispers to Gandalf..."Did I miss something?!" The stranger hears this and answers "Oh, that wasn't a bit nice...You have made me very angry... very angry indeed"

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...lost in space

    Currently recruiting all levels, classes, IQs, shoe sizes....
    Nothing to see here...

  9. #9
    OMG! You wouldn't believe what happened this morning! I was in my livong room trying to think of a nice clever new post to put on here. (clever? Have ANY been?) Anyway... I wandered slowly around the room gathering my thoughts with my morning coffee. (not gathering thoughts WITH my coffee. I mean, come on coffee doesn't talk! Only orange juice does...duh) So anyway, I was standing at the window looking outside when a car came around the curve. The necklace I was wearing seemed to have hit JUST the spot right in the sun cause the driver got a glare in his eyes and he was all like omg i cant see! Then his car went off the road and hit the house across the street which for some reason spontaneously combusted and a huge fire was roaring. The guy in the car was all like oh noes! and he got out and ran away which is technically a hit and run. Then my neighbors came home and were all like OUR HOUSE! They looked at the car and were like what the....?! They called the cops who tracked the guy down from his license plate meanwhile my neighbors were cryiong cause all their photo albumns are now lost and they can't replace them but meanwhile the poor bird in the house died in the fire but does anyone care about him? Nooooo! Of course not hes only a bird, so meanwhile the cops caught the guy from the car and hes arrested and sentenced to 2 years but he has a dog at home and now who's gonna feed it? So his life is ruined, the photos are burned, the bird is dead, the dog is hungry and I'm out of coffee. All because I was trying to think of something to say to you all. How do you people sleep at night anyway?

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...chock full of randomness, not to be confused with Chock full o' Nuts...which works too. HEY!!! There's my coffee!!!
    Nothing to see here...

  10. #10
    Ok so its true. I spend a little too much time on the forums and writing insightful, thought provoking posts that I am sure raise the readers IQ by at least .0000000000001%. But what can I say? I like to come here to chill and read a few posts and post my own insightful...blah, blah, blah. So I was thinking about how much time I spend here making sure to keep you all supplied with my impressive wit. *crickets* Then I thought, there must be better ways to spend my time!!! Paint? compose a symphony? Read a book? Wow, thinking back the last book I read was Little Toot to my daughter who is 14 now. That should give you a good idea of how much I read. So I decided to walk away from my computer and pick a book at random and read it. I came up with the Odyssey. It said it was about the voyage of Homer. I found out early on it wasn't Homer Simpson. I felt betrayed. I don't think I understood the book all that great.many names and places. I admit, it was cool that Athena, the greek godess watched over him, although I couldnt help but think...She's just a girl - she's a bomb.

    Whats with that Aeolus dude? Master of the winds? I hate to sit behind him.

    And what about Circe? She turned 1/2 of Odysseus' crew into pigs after feeding them wine and cheese. Wow...I suddenly have a hankering for a ham and cheese sammich. brb..ok so anyway, then Hermes, in order to save Odysseus from Circe's magic, he slips him a mickey..or a moly..whatever. Being as Odysseus shows no interest in her, she falls for him. So like a woman. (except for me of course). So what, she was in love with a pig? Thats sick. Pork, it's the other white meat.

    Lest we forget about Helen of Troy, famous because of the Trojan war. What a nice legacy to have your name synonymous with condums.

    Ok so there. I read a book. But I'm now heading back to lotro faster then Aeolus can break wind.

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes... the sirens of Middle Earth
    Last edited by Agron5; Dec 13 2012 at 05:38 PM. Reason: typos, what else??
    Nothing to see here...

  11. #11
    The fellowship makes their way through the forest, ever vigilant as Middle Earth has become a strange place. But this is a brave and true group with a mission of great importance, and they shall not fail. A bright light shines in the distance, they make their way to it. They know to expect anything. Suddenly a figure in a black robe spins around. He bares a peculiar mark on his forehead, a scar, shaped like a lightning bolt. “Have you seen him?” the stranger says. “Who?” asks Legolas. “He Who Shall Not Be Named” The fellowship looks puzzled. “Um…” starts Gimli, “Whats his name?” “We call him He Who Shall Not Be Named” The group sighs. “Well how do we know if he’s not named?” “He has a name” the stranger says. “Then what is it?” asks Aragorn. “We call him He Who Shall Not Be Named” Many eyes begin to roll. “Well if you don’t tell us his name then we cant help you.” Says Sam, annoyed. “Well if I told you his name then he would be named, wouldn’t he?! DUH!” Suddenly an axe flies at the stranger, landing in his chest, killing him immediately. The fellowship looks at Gimli. “What?” he asks “he was really getting on my nerves”

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes…we know the name of He Who Shall Not Be Named cause we’re smert like that

    wait, wrong books...
    Nothing to see here...

  12. #12
    It was the night before christmas an all through the house everyone felt &&&&&& even the mouse. Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, i sprang up from my bed to see what was the matter. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell i knew right away that the fat guy fell. He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer, now thats what I call Christmas cheer! He rose up the chimney with one hell of a fart that son of a gun blew my chimney apart! He swore an cursed as he flew out of sight. Piss on you all and have one hell of a night!


    Merry Christmas people of Elendilmir!!!

    With love from Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes
    Nothing to see here...

  13. #13
    The fellowship continues on, more leary then ever. Merry and Pippin join them now. They come upon some horrid looking woman in black. "Who killed my sister? Was it you?" he asks looking at legolas. "I have no idea who your sister is" he replies. "A friend of Saruman, for sure" whispers Merry. The others know better but don't bother to explain. The woman looks at the hobbits. "what the..." she begins..."I thought all the munchkins were in munchkin land" "what is a munchkin?" asks Sam. "Be gone!" Legolas commands, not sure what to make of the woman. The woman turns to them and says "Fine! but just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you, my pretty and your little dog too!" she says pointing to Gimli. "HEY!" he yells

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...if we only had a brain
    Nothing to see here...

  14. #14

    Merry Christmas!!

    Even the Ents are partying!!!

    Nothing to see here...

  15. #15


    Welcome Elaurwen
    who joined us of her own free will!

    Wait, ignore hypnocat....
    Nothing to see here...

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Agron5 View Post
    Welcome Elaurwen
    who joined us of her own free will!

    Wait, ignore hypnocat....
    Sorry folks, but I couldn't resist,,,,


  17. #17
    As if anyone could resist Geddy Lee
    Nothing to see here...

  18. #18
    Bump, cause I was a-scared that with these fast moving forums my thread might get lost...

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...giving the Big E forums some love
    Nothing to see here...

  19. #19
    So there I was in watching glff this morning, I know, watching glff is like passing a horrific accident, you know you shouldn't look, you try not to, but yet, you have no choice, something pulls you in, almost forcing you "LOOK AT IT DAMN YOU!" Besides, how can one not watch the conversation in glff? The plethora of knowledge that exudes from the channel stimulates the mind beyond reaches that can be explained by mere words. So what was this conversation? Cereal. Kids cereal to be more precise. It got me thinking (a dangerous situation in and of itself) So what was I thinking about? The Trix Rabbit of course (what a silly question!)

    Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids! Um…says who? Did you ever wonder who exactly it was that decided the rabbits can't have Trix. The poor guy just wants a bowl of cereal. Is he really asking much? I mean come on, the bunny had a whole holiday thrust upon him and quite frankly I'm not sure why. What does an Easter bunny have to do with Easter? He goes from house to house delivering Easter eggs. Realistically, shouldn't it be an Easter chicken? At least they lay eggs. And how does the Easter bunny do it? He doesn't have any help! Santa has elves, flying reindeer and a sled. The poor bunny is a loner. No help and delivers eggs he had nothing to do with. Humph, bad rap if you ask me.

    Anyway, so back to the Trix rabbit. What sadistic jerk told this rabbit, hey look at this cereal, guess what, we don't care what you do…YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! It spawned a slew of cruelty to cartoon characters everywhere. Fred can't get his fruity or cocoa pebbles, the leprechaun can't keep his cereal away from more mean kids. Think about it, these commercials in essence say that kids stink. Tisk tisk, we've raised a generation of selfish kids, can't even share a damn bowl of cereal…

    Note to the Trix rabbit…call Wile E. Coyote and get the number for acme. Next time some kid says "silly rabbit" drop a safe on their head

    But that got me thinking about Mikey, you remember him, don't you??? He was made mega famous by commercial in like the 70s or 80s, he never spoke a word. The plot is simple, Mom buys Life cereal, boys don't want it cause it's good for you, they pawn it off on younger brother saying…"He wont eat it, he hates everything"! ZOMG, guess who ate the cereal? And there it was born, the phrase of the time "he likes it, hey Mikey!" You can catch a clip on youtube for you non believers.

    Then tragedy struck, the Life kid lost his life…he ate pop rocks and drank coke which caused his stomach to explode. A nation mourned. Mikey was never to eat Life cereal again. WOE was the world! A lifeless life kid. Oh, come on! Pop rocks and soda? Pu-lease people! He's alive and well working as an ad executive in NYC.

    But, it does make you start to wonder, have ALL cereal mascots made out as well as Mikey? Here are some "Where are they nows" for ya…

    Toucan Sam got tired of not being able to escape the stereotype of the big nosed bird. He had a nose job done in 1998. Not only could he STILL not get work, but he couldn't return to his old job because his nose no longer knows. Sadly, he turned to cocaine. All his snorting has burnt out the once famous nose…

    Sonny-He's coocoo for Cocoa puffs. Sony is currently in rehab having never been able to get off the stuff. He did a small stint in prison for knocking over a convenience store to feed his habit…

    Diggum is in prison for life without the possibility of parole. What do you expect from a frog who pushed smack on kids…

    Snap, Crackle and Pop, the rice crispy elves are in an insane asylum. They were committed for hearing voices coming from their bowl of crispies…

    Poor Count Chocula was killed by Frankenberry. He was tired of being 2nd rate to the count…

    Pray for the others…will ya?

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes....we know knowledge is power!!

    We would like to welcome Sagitti and his 8,987,221 alts who are now Tolkien with us!
    Last edited by Agron5; Dec 29 2012 at 03:52 PM.
    Nothing to see here...

  20. #20

    Happy New Year

    The members of Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes would like to wish all of you peace, love, happiness and good health in the coming year!
    Happy New Year!

    Nothing to see here...

  21. #21
    A warm welcome to Moongrazer!

    Nothing to see here...

  22. #22
    Well, we've been Tolkien long enough to reach....wait for it.....*drum roll* RANK 7!!! Ya baby!!! Kinhouse ftw!
    Wow that's fail considering all the long term kins on here... We're not worthy!!!

    Oh well. The holidays are over. There is something depressing about it. It that loss of delight, the loss of that little sprinkling of magic in the air, its that good will that people now leave behind. Oh bull****, its that I have to go back to work.

    I hope everyone had a nice holiday season. You know (no, you don't yet cause i havent told you, duh) I did some thinking about the real meaning of Christmas. I think it was after Linus' speech. Why do we pay more attention to Santa? HE is not what the holiday is about. We look for snow, dream of a white Christmas. I know when I visted my folks in Florida 2 years ago for Christmas I was wearing shorts and thinking...it doesnt FEEL like Christmas. Well why not? Christ was born in the desert yet we look for snow? That makes no sense. Did you know that Christmas is not the date that Christ was born? Nor did the 3 kings visit him that night?

    Sure, I bet you knew all that. Makes you wonder though. I mean about religion as a whole. Lets face it, there are so many different kinds. So many questions. Each religion has its own theory, origin and well...their own idea of how this world will end. Doom and gloom isn’t it? Will the world end with another flood? What about the speculation that the world will end by fervent heat? Nah, don’t be scared. They are THEORIES people. If the thought scares you, let me put your mind at ease. We will surely kill ourselves through some means such as nuclear war or a complete deletion of any and all natural resources before anything else happens, so chill out. Don’t you feel better now?

    Religion raises a tremendous amount of questions. Maybe it’s cause we weren’t meant to take everything so literal. Get my meaning? No huh. Well try this on for cosmic size…

    *When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? Is that allowed? Will the law look the other way if I smite?

    *I know that a man is not allowed contact with me while I have my period of menstrual uncleanliness – (Lev.15:19-24.) The problem is, how do they know? Cause if you ask me “is it that time of the month?” You KNOW I’m just gonna get pissed.

    *I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? I’m not asking this cause I’m tired of his dog doing #2 on my lawn, that’s just a coincidence…

    *I know from (Lev. 11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, so shouldn’t all professional football players be wearing gloves?

    *My friend violates (Lev. 19:19) by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone her? I would feel bad unless we stone her in a lets get high kind of way…but I don’t think that’s what it means…

    What about the unobscure? Do you ever catch the little things in religion? Like doesn’t a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith? You go into church and proclaim your faith, unless of course a storm comes through. Then all bets are off…

    So you think you have a better understanding? If you do then you’re nuts. There are no answers peeps. We will have our answers when we meet our maker. But for those who lack faith, I propose this…if you think there is no God… then answer this…who pulls the next Kleenex up in the box?

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...The Big Guy approves of this message
    Nothing to see here...

  23. #23

    Rank 7!
    New website! http://tolkienformedicinalpurposes.guildlaunch.com
    Vent server! (Oh hush, I'm old school)

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes...Recruiting *insert clever remark*
    Last edited by Agron5; Jan 05 2013 at 08:54 PM.
    Nothing to see here...

  24. #24
    Elyeth (and his many alts) is now Tolkien too!

    Welcome to the family!

    Awww see! I can be serious!!
    Nothing to see here...

  25. #25

    Tolkien for Medicinal Purposes... join now....we have pancakes...because we know the cake is a lie
    Nothing to see here...


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