We have detected that cookies are not enabled on your browser. Please enable cookies to ensure the proper experience.
Page 6 of 6 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6
Results 126 to 150 of 150
  1. #126
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    In Rainbows
    Posts
    345
    Lets say Tolkein had some strange foresight, and decided to shorten his awesome books to suit the short attention-spanned people of the 21st century...

    They would go something like this: Once there was this short, hairy footed creature that took an all-powerful ring and threw it into a volcano. The end.
    Meshoot, rank 9 Blackarrow, Officer of Freepaphiles Riddermark
    >:} Memento Mori {:<
    Aka Grumpis the honorable Mustelidian Pew Pew of love and cheery brightness.
    >The Mustelidian Cult is the cult, is the cult for you and me<

  2. #127
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Posts
    18,359
    Quote Originally Posted by RDBurn View Post
    <Saruman pours black powder into jar>

    Grima: How? How can fire undo stone? What kind of device-

    <Drops candle>
    ROFL!!! Good one!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  3. #128
    From the movie:

    Blackgates scene:

    Aragorn: "For Frodo." *charges at 10,000 orcs*
    *no one followed*

    Frodo/Sam vs Gollum scene in Mt.Doom:
    Sam: "Reach Mr.Frodo! Reach!"
    *Frodo reached* *bloody hand slipped*
    Sam: "Opps, butter fingers."

    Boromir confronting Frodo for the ring scene in the books/movie: (not sure if already said)
    Boromir: "Give me the ring!"
    Frodo: "Okay! Take it!"

  4. #129
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Middle Earth, Arda
    Posts
    4,689
    Luthien sing
    Beren listen the beautyfull voice of the elf maiden. He aproach her.
    Luthien: "Eww a monkey man! & you stink like a beast! Do you live with the animals? Haven't you shower in months?"
    Beren walks away with a sad face.
    Is this Alternate Playable Character Disorder? :

    Check my Kinship at Gladden server: The Fate of Middle Earth

  5. #130
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,129
    And so the the remaining Nazgul survived the fire of Mount Doom and went to have peaceful lives far away from gondor, waiting for "better times"

  6. #131
    <Gollum swimming in The Forbidden Pool>
    Faramir: Shall I shoot?
    Frodo: N-
    Sam: Yes!!!
    <Archers shoot arrows at Gollum>
    Frodo: Well, I can't say i'm too unhappy about that...

    <Later at Mt. Doom>
    Frodo: I claim the ring for myself.
    Sam: I can't throw it for you, but I can throw you!
    <Pushes Frodo into the fire>

    <Later back at the Shire>
    Bilbo: Have you seen Frodo? I was hoping to hold my old ring one last time.
    Sam: Sorry Bilbo...I'm afraid I lost him.

  7. #132
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Varda
    Posts
    302
    From Return of the King...


    ,Aragorn sees the last beacon lit, and runs into the Golden Hall.]

    Aragorn: "The Beacons of Minas Tirith! The Beacons are lit!

    Aragorn: "Gondor calls for aid!"

    Théoden: "And Rohan will >>>> NOT <<<< answer."

    Later....

    Battle at Pelenor fields...


    Witch king of Angmar kills Gandalf the White since he is not interrupted by inc force of Rohan.

    Huge morale impact on Gondors army and lack of 6000 Rohan riders + heroes would mark definite end to Minas Tirith.

    Before Aragorn comes with Army of dead only 3 living heroes against force of Mumakils , Witch king and most of his remaning army , they would not stand a chance.

    Army of dead wouldnt have any effect since Witch king is on battle field.

    Outcome:

    Minas Tirith conquered , most of free people are dead and capured. Aragon dead defo. Legolas has a chance of escaping , Gimili will fight to death , he is stubborn.

    Pipin possibly captured.

    Frodo and Sam would die sooner or later..

    Sauroun conquers all of Middle-Earth.. Remaining Elves flee , Dwarves are last to die ....

    End

  8. #133
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    184
    In a hole in the mountain, there lived a dwarf. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a dwarf-hole, and that means mithril.

    It had a perfectly hidden door, indistinguishable from the rock wall, with an ornate doorway visible only in moonlight. The door opened, when the appropriate password was spoke, to a very large square hall: a very comfortable square hall without smoke, with marble walls, and floors tiled, provided with ornate carvings, and lots and lots of mithril - the dwarf was fond of mithril. The hall wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the mountain – The Mountain, as all the people for many miles round called it – and many corridors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another. No going upstairs for the dwarf: bedrooms, bathrooms, cellars, pantries, wardrobes, kitchens, dining-rooms, all were on the same floor or the few below it, and indeed many on the same passage. The best rooms were all on the left-hand side (going in), for these were the only ones lit by a bright vein of mithril running along the one wall.

    This dwarf was a very well-to-do dwarf, and his name was Boggins.


    etc., etc., etc.
    Iaralor | Riddorra | Cirnordar | Thransi | Fanion | Tarro | Otleif | Mallelleth

  9. #134
    *Boromir laying dead*

    Aragorn: I wish I could have helped you my friend, but I had some probs with this new skill tree.

  10. #135
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    The Sunset Grill
    Posts
    306
    A chapter devoted to Tom Bombadil learning how to twerk.
    "Hey dol! Merry dol! I'm came in like a wreaking ball!!!
    [IMG]http://i780.photobucket.com/albums/yy87/Torgeau/sig-lotro_zpsf040a784.jpg[/IMG]
    -[B]Fence Sitter of Eriador[/B]-
    "[I]All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.[/I]" - Alexander Woollcott

  11. #136
    Quote Originally Posted by Nakah View Post
    In a hole in the ground there lived a goblin. A nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, dry, bare, a sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a goblin-hole, and that means nasty.
    This is in my opinion the very best.

  12. #137
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Cookie Land
    Posts
    1,617
    And so Sauron, biding his time in the security of his closely guarded land, was able to complete his heavy water experiments. And with the use of his flying Nazguls as delivery mechanisms, was able to capture the world.
    Last edited by RKL; Dec 23 2013 at 09:47 AM.

  13. #138
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Posts
    18,359
    Gandalf: " Frodo, the ring cannot stay here in the Shire."

    Frodo: "You're right". *after Gandalf leaves, he mails the ring to Sauron so he can stay at Bag End*
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  14. #139
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,153
    Gandalf : 'You cannot pass!'

    Durin's Bane: *ppppppbbbbbbttttt*

    Gandalf: 'That's not what I meant!'

    <KA-BOOM>

    --Later--

    Elves from Lothlorien examine the cave-in...

    Elf 1: 'What do you think caused this? No one is coming out of Moria from that gate for awhile.'

    Elf 2: 'And what is that stench? Smells like a Balrog broke wind.'
    Last edited by bambubambubambu; Dec 30 2013 at 04:44 PM.
    Today is a good day for Pie.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of Burglars, for they are subtle and quick to shank you.

  15. #140
    Deep down in 'Old Forest close to Withywindle
    way back up in the woods among the water-lilies
    There stood a log cabin with the door ajar
    where lived a merry fellow named Iarwain Ben-adar
    Who never leaved his bounds or explained so well
    But he could sing his songs like ringing a bell

    Go Go
    Go Tommy Go Go Go
    Go Tommy Go Go Go
    Go Tommy Go Go Go
    Go Tommy Go Go Go
    Ohh Tom Bombadil

    /With part credit to Chuck and John

  16. #141
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,118
    So, after a good long while bound by a chain, Melkor comes out...

    "I've changed!! I'm a good boy! I'll never do all those bad things again!?"


    (Manwe raises a suspicious eyebrow.)

    "Riiiiiiiiight.....



    ...nope, back you go. He's all your Mandos"

    The Order of The Silver Flame - A fun, mature, helpful and friendly kin. Come join us on Silverlode!

  17. #142
    Quote Originally Posted by RDBurn View Post
    <Saruman pours black powder into jar>

    Grima: How? How can fire undo stone? What kind of device-

    <Drops candle>
    I've turned it into a video (I added it into the first few seconds)!

  18. #143
    Frodo: Smeagol Sauron Baggins, you were named after the two bravest men I knew.

  19. #144
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Posts
    18,359
    Quote Originally Posted by Blodwedd View Post
    Frodo: Smeagol Sauron Baggins, you were named after the two bravest men I knew.

    ROFL!!! Harry Potter reference!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  20. #145
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,153
    Suddenly, the assault on Helm's Deep ceased. All went still. The defenders kept their guard, but the rest of the night passed with no further attack.

    The next morning rose with no orc to be seen. Scouts were sent out, and shortly returned.

    'My Lord Theoden! The orcs have vanished! But they left us a giant statue of a horse!'

    'A horse? I love horses! A giant horse is even better! Well, bring it in! What could possibly go wrong?'
    Today is a good day for Pie.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of Burglars, for they are subtle and quick to shank you.

  21. #146
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    62
    Gandalf: [after sipping a little too much Miruvor, drunkenly to the Balrog] You cannae pass, ye ######!
    [Balrog starts crying and runs away]
    Gandalf: [to the Fellowship, who are staring awkwardly] Fly, you fools!

  22. #147
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1,685
    The stories would have change LOTR forever if the one who designed the cover of "The Return of the King" had made a minor typo and turned it into "The Return of The Ring".
    [I]"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of judgment. For even the wise cannot see all ends"[/I] - [B]Gandalf[/B]

  23. #148
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,153
    Gandalf: 'Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my...boomstick!'
    Today is a good day for Pie.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of Burglars, for they are subtle and quick to shank you.

  24. #149
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Posts
    18,359
    Frodo at the Black Gate: "Screw this I'm going home! Gollum, take the damn ring!"
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  25. #150
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    6 Long Street, Hamglen, Breeland
    Posts
    744
    Ungoliant: Morgoth, give me what's in your left hand now!

    Morgoth: *shrugs* Ok.


    Bingo: Look, I'm swimming!

    Nearby Hobbit: It looks more like your sinking to me.

    Bingo: Huh? *drowns*


    Niniel: Mom, I'm coming with you to find Turin!

    Morwen: No you're not you're going home!

    Niniel: *shrugs* Fine....

 

 
Page 6 of 6 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

This form's session has expired. You need to reload the page.

Reload