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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Somewhere In Neverland..
    Posts
    446

    The Small & Unusual Adventures of Tails

    Born in the Highlands of the Shire. Tailborn was the product of a rather intelligent adventurer named Caelwen and a lazy yet dynamic and quick thinking bounder

    In her tweens, Tails (to her friends, on account of her unusual and out of place tail) showed much enthusiasm for music and later trained as a minstrel with her mentor Valencia. She showed extraordinary talents for minstrelness.

    Often she wondered why when she played her angelic harp or melodic flute that her enemies (And occasionally her friends) fled and fell before her. She didn't argue, as it soon became a valued tactic for getting out of sitautions where her music wasn't as angelic...Like that time in Overhill..

    3 months after her 17th birthday, Tails was invited to a music gig in Brockenborings. As she began to play, the stage flooded with angry crowds of small hobbits who apparantly had no musical taste whatsoever. Tails was rescued by a kindly old wizard named Gandalf.

    This wise wizard told her fireside stories of far-off places, places of evil and suffering. Tales of Mordor and Angmar and Sauron and The Witch King. Tails later enquired on the wizards business in the Shire and was asked to aid in the rescue of a Dunedain Ranger named Amdir

    Tails knew little of the dealings of these men, although Caelwen her mother had in the past aided these Rangers of the North. Explaining in the most childish ways she could to Tails at the time, about their lineage and great kingdoms of Arnor, Numenor and Fornost (Big places lost to evil)

    After leaving Gandalf's company, Tails began to roam into the Breeland. One cold night she stumbled 'accidently' into a nest of spiders who to the dismay of Tails had by the end of their meeting, lost the use of their ears. During her travels she displayed incredible Valour, Loyalty, Wisdom (Albeit very little unless it concerned music or blueberry muffins) Empathy and still managed to maintain her questionable Innocence (She'd been found walking out of Farmer Maggots fields once as a child, carrying several potatoes which to her seemed like oddly large muffins, which she later discovered weren't sweet..at all)

    Tails followed a strangely wavy path in road towards Bree (Finding it hard to read her poorly crayoned map which she had copied from several actual maps belonging to her mother...) It wasn't until the gates of Bree stood beyond her that she remembered an urgent and clumsy memory...she'd forgotten to make sure her father took his real club to work with him as Tails had replaced it with a toy club of her own (Which it had to be said wasn't exactly useful for beating off criminals or a stray bear) She pondered on the thought for a moment before shrugging her shoulders lightly and walking over to the gate guard who was of a significant size larger.

    As Tails called to the guard, he turned his head confused, searching for where the little voice had originated from, Tails pulled on his chainmail and the guard peered down to see a strange creature, what he would have assumed was a hobbit if not for the unusual and slightly out of place rabbit tail poking from her behind.

    (To be continued...)

    -Tails-

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Somewhere In Neverland..
    Posts
    446

    Re: The Small & Unusual Adventures of Tails

    (Continued)

    Tails stared curiously up at guard and decisively stepped on his right foot before calmly saying "Why yes! I DO have a tail" She walked past him and through the tall wooden gates of Bree-town.

    Tailborn Cascade, was her full name and she wore short golden blonde clips of hair, parted a little around the ears. Many would say that her most unique feature was her unusual tail, but her eyes were a perfect shade of ruby, such a thing was uncommon among the races of Middle-Earth but legends have detailed many dashing heroes of old who bore such eyes (Her mother Caelwen being one)

    As she passed through the town, the good folk of Bree who were unacustomed to seeing Hobbits out of the Shire anyway, were staring intently at the fluffy growth on her behind. It didn't bother Tails too much that she was the owner of the most extraordinary feature ever recorded in history (Even stranger than her grandmothers 6th toe, but thats a totally different story) She thought of it as a counter-weight, smugly believing that it would prevent her from teetering too far forwards and imprinting the ground with a Tailborn-esque faceprint.

    Approaching the Prancing Pony, she pulled out a letter written by the kindly old wizard Gandalf, instructing her on her important mission (Tails thought of it much like a game..) She looked up at the rickety, worn down shell of the Inn and wondered why the Men of Bree didn't simply live in Holes like Hobbits as they are maintained much better (Forgetting of course the size difference) Entering the building she was met instantly by a change in temperature, the huge stone fireplace was alight with a roaring fire, and standing over by the bar was a rather plump and jolly fellow who Tails assumed must be Mr Butterbur.

    Greeting him in the most harmonious of tones, firstly inquiring over the secret hiding place where Mr B stored his Blueberry Muffins before getting down to the dull, and depressing business. "Could you please direct me to the room of a man named 'Strider'?". Suddenly all eyes were on Tails, as she peered around the large common room, heads turning. "Hush now, keep that tongue of yours still missy, nobody mentions that name aloud.. lest they wish to be accused of consorting with them rangers.. Dangerous business I can tell you". Butterbur calmed the rabble down, assuring that they had misheard the young hobbit.

    (To be continued)

    (To be continued..)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Bristol, England
    Posts
    6,293

    Re: The Small & Unusual Adventures of Tails

    Not sure if parody, or just madder than a box of frogs.

  4. #4

    Re: The Small & Unusual Adventures of Tails

    It's a subtle (or not if you do more than skim) joke/troll/parody.
    Did you really think this signature would be worth reading?

 

 

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