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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    408

    Proposed Changes for Draiglitch

    Note : The following is a parody. These are not actual suggestions for the instance : "Draigoch's lair" It is not intend to offend, rather it is to merely have some harmless fun and remove some stress from players, as the instance STILL bugs.

    This is how the folks at Turbine should see it, IMHO.

    [As the Instance Starts]

    Old: Draigoch the Red says, ''Welcome, thieves. I can smell the dread in your sweat. I hear the whistle of fear in your breath and feel the fluttering of your little hearts as they race in your chests. But come now, why do you fear? There is plenty of treasure here...enough for all, and more to spare.''

    Proposed: Draiglitch the Red says, ''Welcome, thieves of player's money. I can smell the dread in your sweat as you try to figure out the bugs in my instance. I hear the whistle of fear in your breath and feel the fluttering of your little hearts as they race in your chests. But come now, why do you fear? There is plenty of treasure here...enough for all, and more to spare as more players become upset and don't get a chance.''

    [As Draigoch Introduces Himself]

    Old: Draigoch the Red says, ::
    "What's this? Come for your share of riches? Seek you your place in history, as a slayer of dragons? Know you not who I am?"
    "Allow me to introduce myself."
    "I am DRAIGOCH!"
    "Long have I ruled these lands. Ancient were my forebears, and many the ages that have passed beneath my wings!"
    Mighty was Smaug the Golden, brought unto ruin by mischief and trickery, and still I, I persist! My fire burns bright as ever!"

    Proposed: Draiglitch the Red says, ::
    "What's this? Come for your share of riches? Seek you your place in history, as a slayer of working as intended dragons? Know you not who I am?"
    "Allow me to introduce myself."
    "I am DRAIGLITCH!"
    "Long have I ruled these lands. Ancient were my forebugs, and many the tears that have passed beneath my wings!"
    Mighty was Smaug the Golden, brought unto ruin by mischief and trickery, and still I, I persist! My glitches confuse even the brightest developers just as ever!"


    [In the Heat of Battle]

    Old: Draigoch the Red says, ::
    "Insolent worms! Think you that you can harm me?"
    "I shall scorch you until nothing remains."
    "Scatter then, rats, hide in your maze!"
    "My breath is death and your lives are but a trifle in my presence."



    Proposed: Draiglitch the Red says, ::
    "Insolent worms! Think you that you can fix me?"
    "I shall scorch your code until nothing remains."
    "Scatter then, rats, hide in your maze of code!"
    "My bugs are bankruptcy and your jobs are but a trifle in my presence."

    [Upon His Defeat | Removal of the Bugs]

    Old: Draigoch the Red says, ::
    "To the last, wretches, even in death, I shall not be bested!"
    "With my last breath, I will make ashes of you!"
    "With my demise, you will know the crushing weight of your failure..."
    "Mightiest am I, and mightiest shall I remain!"
    "None shall face me and live!"
    "To the last."

    Proposed: Draifixed the Red says, ::
    "To the last, wretches, even in death, I shall not be bested!"
    "With my last breath, I will make ashes of you!"
    "With my demise, you will know the crushing weight of your failures..."
    "Mightiest am I, and mightiest shall I remain!"
    "None shall face me and live!"
    "To the last."


    ______

    The ending was almost perfect. Spot on, really.


    Hopefully you'll have as much fun reading this as I did reworking it.
    [charsig=http://lotrosigs.level3.turbine.com/132130000000011cf/01006/signature.png]Jessiriel[/charsig]
    Haven't really been active here since [B]4/27/12[/B]
    Jessiriel (79 Hunter) | Wheresmy Refund (75 Warden) | Alialime (63 Minstrel)

  2. #2

    Re: Proposed Changes for Draiglitch

    I laughed /rep
    .
    Gilrain - Draigoch First 13/10/2011
    Celestrata - Surprise, it's not a glitch! :D

  3. #3

    another one trying to be funny

    reactivated to show KNOWN ISSUES have been known for too long!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    448
    Quote Originally Posted by Alleyman View Post
    reactivated to show blah blah blah blah blah
    Nice work raising so many threads from the dead. And with such helpful additions, too. I wonder how long it'll be before your banhammer arrives?

    "This will all end in tears, I just know it." --Marvin, HHGttG
    Join the LotRO Volunteer QA Team!
    Use the [url="http://lotrobugs.turbine.com"][color=red]bug reporting tool[/color][/url] or type /bug in-game!*
    [SIZE=1]*no rants please[/size]

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by banjolier View Post
    Nice work raising so many threads from the dead. And with such helpful additions, too. I wonder how long it'll be before your banhammer arrives?

    "This will all end in tears, I just know it." --Marvin, HHGttG
    Beau, I don't care about the banhammer. I know that posting these is drawing you devs out trying to defend the undefendable. Not only am I willing to reactivate these old posts, I'm firing away at warner Brothers complaining about Turbine's mess. Hopefully, posting the link to WB will get some others on board to file complaints and we can get some of these issues straightened out at Turbine....maybe with some management change. We can only hope.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by banjolier View Post
    Nice work raising so many threads from the dead. And with such helpful additions, too. I wonder how long it'll be before your banhammer arrives?

    "This will all end in tears, I just know it." --Marvin, HHGttG
    I see that the folks over on the DDO side are having the same issues....

 

 

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