Legendary Despair - a Parody
On a bright and beautiful day…
*PX = Player Character “X”
*FM = Forge Master
PX : Good day to you Forge Master!
FM : Good day to you Master X! *smiles in anticipation*
PX : Wonderful news! I have here a weapon of the First Age and it is very very rare.
FM : That is indeed most fortuitous Master X!
PX : I would like to have the weapon reforged as it seems somewhat lacking of late.
FM : How do you mean?
PX : Well it just doesn't deal as much damage anymore and the relics need replacing.
FM : *examines weapon* ohhh, yes, yes, I see what you mean.
PX : I have here relics of unrivaled quality and very difficult to come by.
FM : Well Master X, I'm not sure what to say... *grimaces*
PX : Whatever is the matter?
FM : Uh.. well.. uh... now you see... I'm afraid that won't be possible.
PX : ~*blinks*~
FM : Well.. I'm afraid the weapon is incapable of being improved upon.
PX : ~*blinks*~ but.... it is a FIRST AGE WEAPON.....
FM : You simply need to get a new First Age weapon Master X.
PX : ~*blinks*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : uh..Master? Master? You don't look well!
PX : ~*blinks*~ ~*twitches*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : *fetches a cup of water*
PX : Do you KNOW WHAT IT TOOK TO GET THAT WEAPON IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!?!?!?!!!!
FM : I've heard of a new campaign where you might obtain a sword of greater quality.
PX : ~*stares*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : For someone of your abilities it shouldn't be too difficult..(with an army)
PX : Are you certain you can't simply reforge it?? It's a FIRST AGE WEAPON!!!!
FM : Oh no sir. I'm most certain of that. You would be best to just decon it.
PX : ~*gasp*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : Despite it's fine qualities.. these swords never last more than 10 minutes.
PX : ~*twitches*~ ~*spasms*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : Pity tho... all those fine legacies....
PX : What do you mean????? You can at least salvage those right?! RIGHT?!?!?!
FM : Oh noooooooo... so sorry Master X
PX : But... But... IT’S A FIRST AGE WEAPON!!!!! It took forever to build those Legacies!!!!
FM : Well.. I can salvage ONE legacy but it will be somewhat diminished.
PX : One??? Just ONE?!!! And what do you mean by diminished!!!!
FM : well... it won't be quite the same tier.. you'll have to build it back up.
PX : ~*twitches*~ ~*blinks*~ ~*twitches*~ ~*blinks*~
FM : It's not all that bad.. Look here, I can extract some lesser relics from it.
PX : Lesser???? And what of the exquisite ones in the hilt?!!
FM : Ahh..uh.. about those.. well. you see.. *mumbles*
PX : ~*begins turning red*~ ~*twitches*~
FM : I'm afraid there's no way to remove those without utterly destroying them.
PX : ~*veins begin to bulge*~
FM : Now now Master! Don't be cross! you can also extract shards and XP as well!
PX : ~*ears begin to steam*~
FM : Well.. there is actually one way to extract them without losing them.. but...
PX : Then do it!
FM : Ah well you see, it requires a magical scroll.
PX : WHAAAT!!!!!!!
FM : I hear there is a vendor you may purchase such a scroll from.
PX : And where might this vendor be?!
FM : Ahhhh.. well.. just look in any direction and you can find him!
PX : ~*gasp*~ No! No not him! *groans in despair*
FM : Well I am sorry sir, but Merchant Turbine is the only one who sells it.
PX : ~*moans and weeps*~
FM : Of course there is still the option of destroying the relics.
PX : ~*sob*~ ~*hands weapon to Forge Master*~ ~*sob*~
.............................. .............................. .............. WALKS AWAY
[CENTER][COLOR=yellow][I][B][COLOR=red]*gasp*[/COLOR][/B][/I] :eek: [/COLOR][COLOR=lime]I have to kill [I]THAT[/I] many for the deed?!?![/COLOR][/CENTER]