The Ecsploits of Ec - Tales of a Warden - Part 1 of 3
Hail Fellow Adventurers! It has been far too long since we have sat around a mug of ale and shared stories of adventure and daring. And even longer since we've had a laugh at the antics of Ec. Well Ec himself has not been doing much in the past months, mostly just hanging around Rohan and trying to pick fights
The Rohirrim in training don't seem to want to fight...
So today, I shall bring you the tales of Khory, Warden of the Alt Army of Ec!
Khory has been busy, making his way through Moria. Say what you will about the dwarves (silly, smelly, bearded gold-diggers) they sure do know how to make an impression. Where else will you see a forest of stone trees.
Oh and look...more orcs. It's as if the dwarves of Moria thought we would be missing orcs by this point in the journey through their home...
Some of you may remember the lesson Ec learned from his experience with Draigoch ("Fire Bad")....well Khory learned a new lesson:
FLOATING FIRE VERY BAD!!
Seriously....fire has no right to just be floating there....
Anyway, after doing several things to point out to the dwarves that Moria is no place for anyone not an orc, they were still convinced that they could "retake these halls"...So Khory had to resort to a form of...aquatic persuasion....
Note to readers: Hitting a dwarf with a fish only makes him smell worse.
The Ecspolits of Ec - Tales of a Warden - Part 2 of 3
Determined to help the dwarves, even if it killed them, Khory set off on more tasks. He came across the broken bridge of Khazad-Dum, and was intriqued to see a shimmer at the edge of the eastern half. As he approached the crack, a memory formed before him.
The face-off between Gandalf and the Balrog. Thankfully this was but a memory, so Khory was in no real danger.
Eff that...time to run and find safer things!
Like a random door in the redhorn lodes.
"Don't know why it is here, don't care...it isn't roaring at me"
As we all know, a journey through Moria eventually leads to one place. That one place where things are so dark and evil they don't have names. Khory's journey was no different, and in no time at all, he found himself in the deep-darkness...the Foundations of Stone. There he faced nameless and faceless terrors, and things to twisted that they should never see the light of day.
I mean, c'mon....the water is effing GREEN! Oh and look...he found the missing peice of the bridge. Now just need a big winch and lots and lots and lots and lots of rope.
The Ecsploits of Ec - Tales of a Warden - Part 3 of 3
Eventually, as he knew would happen, Khory was asked to make sure that something borne of the darkness did not make its way into the light...so he went down into a very dark cave where he found a swarm of orcs bowing before....something.
All Khory could think was, "He and I are NOT going to be friends, are we?"
"Nope....I hate it when I'm right"
After the battle, Khory came face to face with what can only be described as the drain of the world. This looked like someone had pulled the plug from the world and all that was light and good was going to be sucked away...
Thankfully, there was this rather large, recently created corpse that look just about plug-sized so, everything worked out all right.
Finally, Khory had had enough. He bid the darkness and the dwarves farewell, and headed out to other adventure. Tales had reached his ears of a place called "the greenwood".... Perhaps the time had come for Khory to set aside his spear and shield for a spell, and unwind. Surely nobody would begrudge a tired adventurer some time of peaceful reflection underneath green boughs and hazy sunlight. Surely this "greenwood" would provide some relaxation and comfort after the long slog through the dark places of the world.
Surely there is nothing that could....surely....
Please tell me those are just really big birds....and not....