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  1. #1
    Registriert seit
    05.10.2010
    Ort
    Trapped in a community of cells, commonly referred to as a body, which is located in Ireland
    Beiträge
    255

    Why did the chicken cross the road...

    Omg...

    In respect and honour of all the geeks in the world (universe/multiverse) - I have to share this *nods firmly and clicks Submit New Thread*


    ---------


    Plato: For the greater good.

    Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

    Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

    Hippocrates: Because of an excess of yellow bile in its gallbladder.

    Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

    Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

    Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

    Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

    Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

    Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

    B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will. The chicken's action was reinforced, hence, it was done.

    Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

    Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

    Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

    Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

    Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

    Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

    Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to #### sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

    Salvador Dali: The Fish.

    Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

    Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

    Epicurus: For fun.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

    Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

    Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

    Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

    David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

    Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.

    Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

    Ronald Reagan: I forget.

    John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

    The Sphinx: You tell me.

    Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

    Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

    Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

    Molly Yard: It was a hen!

    Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

    Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

    Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

    The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

    Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

    Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

    Othello: Jealousy.

    Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

    Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

    Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

    Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

    Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

    Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

    Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

    Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

    Freud: It was a rooster and his mother was waiting on the other side.

    Hamlet: That is not the question.

    Donne: It crosseth for thee.

    Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

    Constable: To get a better view.

    Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.

    Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.

    Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.

    PETA: It was running away from a life of misery as a bettery hen.

    NSA: We shall check any communication it had beforehand in emails or otherwise, as surely it carried a bomb - ALL chickens carry bombs!
    WOOF - we really finally need dogs in Middle Earth - WOOF

  2. #2
    Registriert seit
    28.01.2012
    Beiträge
    316
    Haha my fav. ones are the bottom 3.

  3. #3
    Registriert seit
    18.02.2011
    Ort
    I'm right here.
    Beiträge
    20
    VSauce: We will never know because the chicken in question is fictional, therefore never factually did cross a road thus we cant facually determine why.

  4. #4
    Registriert seit
    24.04.2007
    Ort
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Beiträge
    18.366
    The Howard Cosell one was hilarious! That is so him!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  5. #5
    Registriert seit
    28.09.2010
    Beiträge
    107
    Nice Lol, made me laugh!
    [charsig=http://lotrosigs.level3.turbine.com/03202000000397423/01008/signature.png]undefined[/charsig]

  6. #6
    Registriert seit
    24.04.2007
    Ort
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Beiträge
    18.366
    I just showed this to a friend of mine at work(we're the only two nerds at work) and he loved it!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  7. #7
    Registriert seit
    21.08.2011
    Ort
    In Rainbows
    Beiträge
    345
    Ha, that was great, my favorite ones were Emerson, Hemmingway, Wilde, Yeates, and PETA.
    Meshoot, rank 9 Blackarrow, Officer of Freepaphiles Riddermark
    >:} Memento Mori {:<
    Aka Grumpis the honorable Mustelidian Pew Pew of love and cheery brightness.
    >The Mustelidian Cult is the cult, is the cult for you and me<

  8. #8
    Registriert seit
    08.12.2010
    Ort
    Sweden
    Beiträge
    3.507
    I think this did the rounds of the InternetS 2011? It's still nice =)

  9. #9
    Registriert seit
    02.06.2011
    Ort
    Germany
    Beiträge
    2.036
    James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
    Wer Hilfe will, muss Informationen liefern.
    >> Lotro World transfer status <<

  10. #10
    Registriert seit
    07.08.2008
    Ort
    Cookie Land
    Beiträge
    1.617
    Adrian Monk: Here’s what happened. (flashback scene)

    Gregory House: There was a bottle of Vicodin on the other side.

    Socrates: I do not know the answer. Why do you ask the question?

    Dolly Partonfowl: I did not intend to do so. It was a natural result of me turning and facing the road.

    Dylan: I am just a song and dance man.

    Willie Nelson: On the road again, I just can’t wait to get out on the road again.

    Grace Slick: Go ask Alice the chicken when she’s ten feet tall.

    Environmentalist: The other side of the road had not yet been fowled.

    Taoist: When you know the answer, you will not ask the question.

    Neanderthal: Chickens are an evolutionary dead end.

    Rooster: (#### a doodle doo); they cross all the time when I am on the other side.

    Chicken: See above answer.

    Horace Greely: Fowlifest destiny and because there are north/south roads.

    Raiding Chicken: I had 11 of my friends with me and we had a plan.

    Solo Chicken: The road was not in an instance.

    Sapience: Our research shows that the percentage of chickens that actually cross the road is a single digit number.
    Geändert von RKL (22.10.2013 um 06:36 Uhr)

  11. #11
    Registriert seit
    18.10.2013
    Ort
    143 Puppy Lane, Happy Evergreen Village, Draconia Incorporated
    Beiträge
    90
    The chicken was obviously guided by the benevolent Musteids to reach the shore unharmed.

    If you are down and outlookaroundandseetheendisnig h ...
    Get up, go outside, run to your nearest field,and frolic;
    frolic till you find the meaning of life, then sit down and sing cheery songs till dawn.
    I have been sent by the Mustelids, who are inter-dimensional beings leading us.
    I am one of few Mustelidian High Priests. Join our order.

  12. #12
    Registriert seit
    07.07.2012
    Beiträge
    228
    Zitat Zitat von RKL Beitrag anzeigen
    Adrian Monk: Here’s what happened.
    Sapience: Our research shows that the percentage of chickens that actually cross the road is a single digit number.
    That is a perfect imitation of Sapience
    Sabian- Hunter85
    All warfare is based on deception

  13. #13
    Registriert seit
    01.06.2011
    Ort
    Hertfordshire, UK
    Beiträge
    2.095
    Columbo: Is it a big road or did he just cross for the police ma'am?
    [I][URL="http://www.swgrp.co.uk/main/socks/"]Wet Socks & Two Smoking Hobits: the mad ramblings of Handee Pokits[/URL][/I]

  14. #14
    Registriert seit
    31.01.2013
    Ort
    Ponyville
    Beiträge
    382
    Dude this is too funny! I copied a link and sent it to my bro! xD He'll love it! PLEASE post something similar to this again!

  15. #15
    Registriert seit
    05.10.2010
    Ort
    Trapped in a community of cells, commonly referred to as a body, which is located in Ireland
    Beiträge
    255
    Zitat Zitat von RKL Beitrag anzeigen
    Sapience: Our research shows that the percentage of chickens that actually cross the road is a single digit number.
    Oh my, I posted this thread quite a while ago and then wasn't on the forums, so I missed all the replies here, but LOL to that one!!!

    Could also for Sapience be:

    'The chicken crossed the road too soon I tell ya! It should have waited for my clearance, which also would have come soon, not right now soon obviously, but as soon as lotroian possible! (which means in some distant soonish future >.>)'
    WOOF - we really finally need dogs in Middle Earth - WOOF

  16. #16
    Registriert seit
    24.04.2007
    Ort
    Gallifrey. I need a Jelly Baby.
    Beiträge
    18.366
    Zitat Zitat von Edrogar Beitrag anzeigen
    Columbo: Is it a big road or did he just cross for the police ma'am?

    Ok, I laughed out loud on this one. I can see Columbo leaning forward as he asks this ROFL!!!!!
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
    Continuing the never ending battle to keep Lobelia Sackville-Baggins in check

  17. #17
    Registriert seit
    27.03.2011
    Ort
    The Prancing Pony, usually I'm drunk in a corner
    Beiträge
    3.359
    ...Because he was being chased by the elite master warg from Chetwood.
    Did everyone get a bugged signature? My BB code doesn't work anymore
    ____________________________

    Glorgnorbor, A Rock And A Hard Place, Stop by our Friday music shows! 4PM EST at the Bree West Gate on Dwarrowdelf!
    If a Malledhrim Soldier dies alone in the forest because of canceled quest, will it make a sound? ~Leixy

  18. #18
    Registriert seit
    16.01.2007
    Ort
    MA, USA
    Beiträge
    4.187
    Zitat Zitat von Edrogar Beitrag anzeigen
    Columbo: Is it a big road or did he just cross for the police ma'am?
    Columbo: He wanted to find out how much someone had paid for their shoes.

    Cener, Ingo, Rilibald, Hesred, Halras, Loringo
    Arkenstone (ex-Elendilmir) - The Osgiliath Guard
    http://www.theoldergamers.com

 

 

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